Will Your Marriage LAST?
The Do’s and Don’ts of staying together

By Dennis Pickering
(Who's been married to the same woman for 30 years.)

In this age of me first and taking care of number 1

marriages don't seem to last very long. Statistics tell

us that 50% of all marriages end in divorce and that

the average marriage only lasts 5 years. Unless you're

in the movie business when 6 months is a record.

50 years ago divorce was unheard of by the majority

of people. The philosophy of marriage was to stay

together for life no matter what we didn't like about

our partner. There were very few Irreconcilable

differences. People were committed to make things work.

Today just the opposite seems to be true. We expect the

honeymoon to last forever and when it doesn't we want

to bail out. Here are a few reasons people gave in a

divorce court as to why they wanted out of their marriages.

My husband keeps me awake all night with his snoring.
My husband never listens to a thing I say.
My wife spends too much time cleaning house and never

pays attention to me.
My husband thinks more of his dog than he does me.
My wife spends too much money on make-up.
My husband won't take me with him when he goes out

with the boys.
I can't afford a wife on what I make.
My wife wants kids and I don't
My wife doesn't like the way I dress.

And the list goes on and on.

All of these people have one thing in common.

They are letting petty problems interfere with their

happiness in marriage. They are looking at individual

concerns while failing to look at the long-term goal.

It has become easier to throw away what we have and

get something new. Just like we would throw away a

pair of worn but usable pants rather than take the time

to mend the holes in the fabric.

After 30 years of marriage my wife and I have made

a lot of holes in the fabric or our marriage, but rather

than throw it away, we have decided to mend the fabric.

Here's a few hints at some of the tools we have used to

mend those holes.

Commitment:

When you get married make up your mind that you are

in it for the long haul. That there not very many really

good reasons that will give you a good cause to divorce

your mate and often times those too can be worked out.

Humor:

Nothing in this life is to be taken that seriously. Find the

funny side to every situation no matter how it may seem

at the time it often seems funny or ridiculous when we

look back at it in twenty years later.

Caring:

Put your spouse's needs first always. If you put your

spouse first and your spouse puts you first then everything

and everybody else comes second.

Trust:

You need to trust one another. If your spouse doesn't

check in with you every 5 minutes don't assume that they

are seeing someone else or don't care about you.

Everyone needs their own space and time for themselves.

Tolerance:

Everyone makes mistakes. If I don't make at least 1

mistake a day I consider it to be a bad day. If you make

a mistake, admit it and get on with your life. If your

partner makes a mistake forgive them for their mistake

and get on with your marriage. I always ask myself

the question: Will it make a difference in my life 20 years

from now. If I can answer yes. Then my spouse and me

would need to talk about the problem. If my answer is

it won’t make a difference 20 years from now, then

forget it.

Communication:

Talk about everything. Lots of people say that after 10

years there's nothing to talk about. But that's not true.

Ask one another about their day, what they want to do

during the week, month, year, and lifetime. What there

problems/needs/concerns are.

Excitement:

Spice is the variety of life. Change the way you do things

often, re-arrange the furniture, dress differently, go

places, and do things together. Spend time together:

go for walks, picnics, watch the sunsets, go to a movie,

cry together, and laugh at everything and everybody.

Remember Today is the first day of the rest of your

life, make it a wonderful day and make it together with

your forever mate.

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Dennis Pickering is the owner / Publisher of "Inspirational

Angels" an award-winning newsletter filled with articles

of Inspiration, Poetry and Prayer. For a faith building

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